This 80s TV Icon Found Love with a Hollywood Star 16 Years Her Senior & Left Acting to Raise Their Children
he became a household name in the 1980s, starring in a string of hits that defined the era. From romantic comedies to offbeat cult classics, her performances made her one of Hollywood’s most recognizable faces. However, her aspirations extended beyond the confines of the film industry.
A portrait of the actress, circa 1980s | Source: Getty Images
In the late ’80s, she made headlines for her marriage to a well-established actor, Kevin Kline, who was 16 years her senior and a confirmed bachelor. The two would go on to create a life that defied the usual Hollywood narrative, focusing instead on family and a commitment to staying grounded.
The former actress and a co-star pictured during a scene from the film “Gremlins,” circa 1984 | Source: Getty Image
A Chance Meeting That Sparked a Connection
The pair’s paths first crossed in 1982 during a read-through for “The Big Chill.” Although she did not end up in the film, the brief encounter left an impression. Two years later, their lives intersected again at New York’s Public Theater.
At the time, she was fresh off the success of “Gremlins” and rehearsing a Russian play, while he was immersed in his role for Shakespeare’s “Henry V.” Kline, a classically trained actor with two Tony Awards to his name, later reflected on their early encounters with characteristic humor.
“When I first met [her], I remember thinking, ‘She’s too happy to be with me,'” he said , highlighting her spirited personality, which stood in contrast to his more introspective nature. Despite their different temperaments, their shared passion for the arts set the stage for what would become a lifelong partnership.
The couple attends the Governor’s Ball party after the 1989 Academy Awards on March 29, 1989 | Photo: Greg in Hollywood (Greg Hernandez) CC BY-SA 2.0 Wikimedia Commons
A Private Wedding and a Lifelong Partnership
By March 1989, the bond they had nurtured over several years culminated in an intimate wedding ceremony held in New York City. At just 25 years old, the actress married Kline, who was 41 at the time and already a renowned figure in theater and film.
The low-key celebration reflected the couple’s preference for privacy, inviting only close family and friends to witness the union. Shortly after their marriage, the couple began planning a family, welcoming their son, Owen, in 1991, and their daughter, Greta, in 1994.
Retiring for Family: Her Life-Altering Decision
At the peak of her acting career, she made a choice that surprised both fans and industry insiders – she stepped away from the spotlight entirely. After welcoming her two children, she decided to prioritize her role as a mother over her Hollywood ambitions.
Her husband has often spoken with admiration about her decision, noting that it was not driven by necessity but by her genuine dedication to their family. “That was one of the many things I loved about her,” he shared . “She loved acting while she was doing it, but she was not driven by it, as I had been.”
The former actress at Tavern on the Green for the Fresh Air Fund’s Salute to American Heroes on June 5, 1997 | Source: Getty Images
Rather than juggle a demanding career alongside family life, she chose to step back entirely, ensuring her children grew up in a stable and nurturing environment. She managed the household without outside help, apart from occasional assistance with cleaning, and made it a point to cook dinner for the family every night.
Reflecting on this, she once said , “Some people have trouble with that, but I love it. I do it all. ” Her decision not only allowed their family to flourish but also reinforced the strong foundation of their marriage, which continued to thrive under the values of compromise and shared priorities.
The former actress, circa 2006 | Source: Getty Images
Raising Remarkable Children in an Artistic Household
The decision to prioritize family created a stable and nurturing environment for Owen and Greta, who grew up surrounded by creativity and support. Both followed their passions in the arts, reflecting their upbringing in an intellectually and artistically rich household.
Kevin Kline, his wife, and their kids, Greta and Owen, at the Supper Club on W. 47th St. on September 25, 2003 | Source: Getty Images
Owen made a name for himself as a filmmaker and actor . He gained early recognition for his performance in “The Squid and the Whale” (2005), a critically acclaimed drama in which he portrayed a teenager navigating the complexities of family life.
Despite the accolades, Owen chose to shift his focus to directing, later releasing his debut feature film, “Funny Pages,” in 2022. Reflecting on his parents ’influence, Owen described their steadfast encouragement during his creative journey. “They wanted so badly for me to figure out a way to make my film,” he said .
Greta channeled her artistic talents into music. Performing under the name Frankie Cosmos, she became a celebrated figure in the indie music scene, known for her introspective lyrics and minimalist sound.
Life Away from the Limelight
For over three decades, Phoebe Cates and Kline have maintained a life focused on family and grounded in simplicity. Now in their 35th year of marriage , the couple continues to prioritize their relationship and their children over the glitz of Hollywood.
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline at Madison Square Garden on January 3, 2013 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
“If your marriage lasts more than six months, you’re already in the Guinness Book of World Records, if you’re a Hollywood marriage,” Kline joked during a 2024 interview. He went on to say that he does not consider their relationship a “Hollywood marriage” in either a literal or figurative sense.
He also explained that they’ve deliberately lived outside Hollywood and maintained a low-profile lifestyle. They have lived on Manhattan’s Upper East Side for most of their marriage, choosing a quieter existence far removed from the industry’s traditional hotspots.
Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates at Madison Square Garden on January 13, 2014 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
The family’s Manhattan home has been the foundation of a stable and nurturing environment for their now-grown children. Weekly family dinners were a cherished tradition, even as the children grew older and pursued their careers.
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline at Radio City Music Hall on June 11, 2017 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
Kline reflected on their bond, saying , “We have dinner all together once a week at least. The kids haven’t banished us from their lives. ” He frequently attends Greta’s music performances, sometimes even participating in her shows.
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline at Radio City Music Hall on June 11, 2017 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
Beyond family life, Cates found fulfillment in a new creative venture. In 2005, she opened Blue Tree, a boutique shop in Manhattan’s Carnegie Hill neighborhood. Cates described her vision for the store as “a general store but according to me,” curating an eclectic mix of women’s clothing, jewelry, home goods, and unique gifts.
Phoebe Cates’ “Blue Tree” on Madison Avenue, circa 2006 | Source: Getty Images
The shop became a reflection of her creative energy, attracting a loyal following both locally and internationally. Even though they occasionally appear at premieres, award shows, and events like basketball games, the couple remains committed to their privacy.
Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline at the 2017 Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 11, 2017 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
Their enduring relationship and thoughtful choices have allowed them to build a life centered on their shared values rather than the pressures of fame.
