The worst Tinder date nightmare EVER: How woman got trapped in window frame trying to retrieve her own poo… after she threw it out when she blocked toilet
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many hopeful singletons will be frantically swiping right on their dating apps, hoping the stars align and they finally match with that special someone in time for the big day.
But some first dates don’t have a fairytale ending – in fact, some can either take a tragic, uncomfortable or very embarrassing turn in the blink of an eye.
For one mortified woman, one reckless move quickly snowballed into what could perhaps be considered the most nightmarish Tinder date of all time – and laid bare for the entire online world to witness.
In 2017, the unnamed woman had been asked out on a dinner date in Bristol by Liam Smyth, now 32.
Mr Smyth, who was a 24-year-old student at the time, took the self-proclaimed amatuer gymnast out for a romantic meal at Nando’s, before the pair went back to his place for a nightcap.
After settling down to watch a Louis Theroux Scientology documentary, the woman suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom.
But once she had finished and attempted to flush her poo, the horrified woman discovered she had blocked the pan – and immediately resorted to extreme measures to get rid of the evidence.
The woman picked up the stool and threw it out the window – but it fell down into a narrow gap between two window panes.
She had no choice but to confess to Mr Smyth, who helped lower her out of the bathroom window into the gap between the houses in an attempt to retrieve it.
But she then got stuck after getting wedged upside down in the gap, and had to be rescued by firefighters who were called to Mr Smyth’s house.
At the time, Mr Smyth recounted: ‘After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a scientology documentary. About an hour in to Louis Theroux and chill, my date got up to use the toilet.
‘She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me. “I went for a poo in your toilet”, she told me, and it would not flush.
‘She continued, “I don’t know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window”.’
Mr Smyth assured his date that they would go out to the garden, retrieve the poo and ‘pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened’ – but then he realised the bathroom window doesn’t open to the garden.
But Mr Smyth’s date offered an alternative solution – being an amatuer gymnast, the woman was ‘convinced’ she was able to reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested ‘inside out bag as glove’ technique.
He added: ‘Unfortunately she couldn’t reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window.
‘She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came.
‘She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast.’
Mr Smyth said that they tried to get her out of the window, but after several attempts, the pair realised it was time to call the emergency services for a little help.
He said: ‘She had been upside down in the window for around 15 minutes at this point, and I was starting to grow concerned for her health.
‘I called the fire brigade. Bristol’s finest were on scene sirens blaring in a matter of minutes.
‘Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools.’
The rescue took only 15 minutes, and left Mr Smyth’s date unharmed, but as for his bathroom window – it was completely destroyed by the firefighters’ tools.
A post-graduate student at the time, Mr Smyth was left with no choice other than to ask the online community for financial help to replace the window.
He launched a GoFundMe page, which raised £2,540 thanks to 330 people donating in just one day.
Offers came in from local companies in Bristol and as far away as Essex, including Warmley Windows, Fire Fighters Charity and Toilet Twinning – a charity that builds and maintains flushing toilets in the developing world.
But word of the fundraiser quickly made rounds across the web, leading to the woman’s humiliating experience hitting headlines and going viral – dubbed by bemused social media users as #poogate.
In 2018, Mr Smyth appeared on ITV’s Lorraine show, where he revealed to host Christine Lampard that love didn’t blossom between him and the woman, but said they were still in contact.
He said: ‘We still talk on Facebook every now and then. You’ve got to stay friends after going through something like this together.’
