{"id":44738,"date":"2026-04-02T01:26:22","date_gmt":"2026-04-02T01:26:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news-vm.com\/?p=44738"},"modified":"2026-04-02T01:26:22","modified_gmt":"2026-04-02T01:26:22","slug":"women-reveal-the-one-question-they-hate-most-during-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news-vm.com\/?p=44738","title":{"rendered":"Women reveal the one question they hate most during sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Many women say there\u2019s one question men frequently ask during sex that \u201cmakes the orgasm go away\u201d \u2013 a phrase that instantly kills the mood and makes the moment feel like \u201che\u2019s trying to win a game.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><div class=\"msbaj6a0ba147148e9\" ><div style=\"width:100%; max-width:1200px; margin:0 auto;\">\n  <a href=\"https:\/\/bolt-casino.com?r=0BFDBF1283\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n    <img \n      src=\"https:\/\/news-vm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/f8693ebb-2018-480f-a2f7-0096810c07f0.jpg\" \n      alt=\"200% Deposit Bonus + 10% Cashback\" \n      style=\"width:100%; height:auto; display:block; border-radius:8px; cursor:pointer;\"\n    \/>\n  <\/a>\n<\/div><\/div><style type=\"text\/css\">\r\n@media screen and (min-width: 1201px) {\r\n.msbaj6a0ba147148e9 {\r\ndisplay: block;\r\n}\r\n}\r\n@media screen and (min-width: 993px) and (max-width: 1200px) {\r\n.msbaj6a0ba147148e9 {\r\ndisplay: block;\r\n}\r\n}\r\n@media screen and (min-width: 769px) and (max-width: 992px) {\r\n.msbaj6a0ba147148e9 {\r\ndisplay: block;\r\n}\r\n}\r\n@media screen and (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 768px) {\r\n.msbaj6a0ba147148e9 {\r\ndisplay: block;\r\n}\r\n}\r\n@media screen and (max-width: 767px) {\r\n.msbaj6a0ba147148e9 {\r\ndisplay: block;\r\n}\r\n}\r\n<\/style>\r\n\n<p>According to research by sex education platform OMGYES, many women say one surprisingly common bedroom question can pull their attention away from the moment and into their own thoughts, interrupting the natural build-up of pleasure.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPartners: You may not mean to pressure us, but these things do, anyways. Many women sometimes need help to stop thinking. Lives are busy. Minds are busy. The more you can get her out of her head and her worries, the better it gets, the 2023\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/etd.ohiolink.edu\/acprod\/odb_etd\/ws\/send_file\/send?accession=ucin1684777572587071&amp;disposition=inline\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">study<\/a>\u00a0explains.<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"h-number-one-orgasm-killer\" class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u2018Number one orgasm-killer\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>This kind of mental shift can interrupt the natural rhythm of\u00a0<a id=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/sex\/\" href=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/sex\/\" type=\"link\">arousal<\/a>, and women say it makes it harder to stay present and\u00a0<a id=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/couples\/\" href=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/couples\/\" type=\"link\">connected<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>One woman described how quickly the mood can change once the question is asked:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe number one orgasm-killer for me is the question \u2018Are you going to [climax] soon?\u201d because then my thoughts take over like \u2013 \u2018Am I taking too long?\u2019 \u2018Are they bored?\u2019 and those thoughts totally distract me, and the orgasm goes away,\u201d she said in the study.<\/p>\n<p>The concern isn\u2019t just about wording, but about the pressure the question can create in an already vulnerable moment.<\/p>\n<p>A second, lamenting about the dreaded phrase, shared, \u201cI get this feeling that he\u2019s trying partly for himself, like he\u2019s trying to win a game, instead of it being for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"newsner-1527871689\" class=\"newsner-article_inside_content\"><\/div>\n<div id=\"newsner-c51357aa6c6728402c1751e8732190ff\" class=\"newsner-c51357aa6c6728402c1751e8732190ff newsner-amp_article_inside_content\"><\/div>\n<p>The phrase at the center of the discussion is a familiar one: \u201cAre you close?\u201d<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"h-wish-they-could-abolish-the-question\" class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u2018Wish they could abolish the question\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>The frustration often reflects a broader gap between expectations and the reality of how arousal and timing typically unfold.<\/p>\n<p>Several\u00a0<a id=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/women\/\" href=\"https:\/\/en.newsner.com\/tag\/women\/\" type=\"link\">women<\/a>\u00a0said the question created pressure to keep up with their partner\u2019s pace, even though research shows women usually reach orgasm within 15 to 45 minutes, compared to two to 10 minutes for men.<\/p>\n<p>Some study participants said the question suggests that \u201ctheir partner cares more about achieving a goal [orgasm from sex] than about their pleasure\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMany women wish they could abolish the question, \u2018are you close\u2019 because it just results in pressure,\u201d one respondent named Jess explained. \u201cI used to think that orgasming quicker was better. It made me, like, a better girlfriend. Because you don\u2019t want waste anyone\u2019s time.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2 id=\"h-not-about-reaching-an-end-goal\" class=\"wp-block-heading\">Not about \u2018reaching an end goal\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>Experts say even well-meaning communication can sometimes pressure \u2013 especially when attention moves toward timing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhilst it might not be intentional, asking \u2018are you close\u2019 can tend to introduce pressure at the wrong moment.\u201d sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight told\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2026\/03\/20\/universal-question-men-ask-bed-women-say-orgasm-killer-27552355\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Metro<\/a>. \u201cFor many women, arousal builds gradually and needs a sense of safety and space, so being asked if they\u2019re \u2018close\u2019 can feel like they\u2019re being hurried along rather than supported in their own rhythm.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>In a separate interview with\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenshealthmag.com\/uk\/health\/sexual-health\/a64033089\/questions-not-to-ask-during-sex\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Women\u2019s Health<\/a>, Knight said: \u201cAsking if your partner is almost done can not only make them feel rushed and pressured, but also unappreciated or self-conscious. Putting your partner under pressure can make it difficult for them to stay relaxed and fully enjoy the experience and can even delay their \u2018finish\u2019 further. Sex should be about mutual pleasure and connection, rather than solely reaching an end goal.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"newsner-107232196\" class=\"newsner-article_inside_content\"><\/div>\n<div id=\"newsner-5ca8b21ebaf5aedebc2eb8103ca0266c\" class=\"newsner-5ca8b21ebaf5aedebc2eb8103ca0266c newsner-amp_article_inside_content\"><\/div>\n<h2 id=\"h-take-time-out-of-equation\" class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u2018Take time out of equation\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>Experts emphasize that couples should focus on feedback that supports connection without introducing urgency.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust take time out of the equation,\u201d an\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/reels\/Cxxop4BMcEY\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">OMGYES<\/a>\u00a0representative said in an Instagram clip.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo, things like, \u2018should I go higher or lower? How is the pressure for you? How is this motion feeling? How is the speed?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThese kinds of questions that allow you to get that feedback and then change what you\u2019re doing immediately. So just take time out of the equation, make sure that your partner knows there\u2019s no rush and you\u2019re giving them enough time, and you\u2019re just there enjoying giving them pleasure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile, sex therapist Leigh Nor\u00e9n Sex therapist Leigh Nor\u00e9n advises that a more attentive and proactive approach can help partners feel more supported in the moment.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt usually makes it go faster,\u201d Nor\u00e9n told Women\u2019s Health.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What questions do you wish partners would stop asking? Please let us know your thoughts in the comment section below and then share this story so we can hear from others!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many women say there\u2019s one question men frequently ask during sex that \u201cmakes the orgasm go away\u201d \u2013 a phrase that instantly kills the mood and makes the moment feel like \u201che\u2019s trying to win a game.\u201d According to research by sex education platform OMGYES, many women say one surprisingly common bedroom question can pull&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[19,17,11,20,24,15,12,25,22,18,16,21,14,23,13],"class_list":["post-44738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-chronic-diseases","tag-fitness","tag-health-tips","tag-healthcare-technology","tag-healthy-lifestyle","tag-healthy-living","tag-medical-advice","tag-medical-awareness","tag-medical-research","tag-mental-health","tag-nutrition","tag-patient-care","tag-preventive-care","tag-public-health","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - 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